Log in

The Fanta Menace's Journal
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The Fanta Menace's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Wednesday, August 27th, 2003
12:39 am
....okay, so I stopped writing in this thing like a year ago, but dammit, I just really wanted to post this somewhere!!

Which Road Waffles character am I?

You're Tash.
You're generally a good-natured friendly person with a positive outlook on life. Tedious work has made you desensitized, and sex, drugs and violence are pretty boring to you. You listen to a lot of music but have obscure tastes, shunning anything too mainstream. Despite being kind of cute and a nice person, nobody really wants to be more than friends with you, so you're always really lonely and bored.

....okay, I'm done now.
Monday, March 31st, 2003
1:58 pm
Happy Trails
Well, for my finial LiveJournal entry, I was going to write a big long last entry, but I was afraid I might get bombarded with "No, Matt, I need your journal to live!" Then I thought I'd just delete it mysteriously in the night, like you wake up one morning and Whoops where'd Matt's LiveJournal go? and see how many people actually noticed, but I decided that's no good cause sometimes I like to go back and read my old entries and it would take too much time and paper to print the whole thing out. So then I thought "A picture is worth a thousand words!" so I thought I'd just post a weird finial picture like setting my porcelain chicken on fire, so I rubbed some gasoline on him and lit a match but I guess I hadn't used enough gas cause I couldn't get him ignited, and I was afriad to use more lest I burn down the house with everyone sleeping inside (this was indoors last night, see). So I was pretty much despairing about what I was gonna do when I realized I never posted that great picture of me topless with a stick of butter and a plate of jello. Um, just for the record though, I have lost weight since then. Honest!

Read more...Collapse )

Whelps, college starts tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Current Mood: hopeful
Saturday, March 29th, 2003
2:42 am
You jellin? I'm jellin like a felon. Care for some melon? Something about Magellan
This has always kind of bothered me: why is it that one in every three X-Men is blue? I was thinking about this, and I thought maybe it has to do with human evolution, because supposedly mutants are the next step in human evolution, right? So does that mean a century from now everyone will be blue and have super powers? I think it's kind of odd, though, that some non-normal color people appear in comics more often then others. Like there’s a ton of blue people, and a fair number of green people, and then some red people, and maybe a handful of white, black (not skin tones but actual white or black), and gold people. Then you've got other colors like purple.... you know, until recently, I think their was only one person ever in the history of comics to have purple skin. And do you know what his name was? The Purple Man. No kidding. That's how unusual it is. He provably never even bothered making up a super villain name for himself but that's just what everyone refers to him as. And since you're all wondering, his power was super persuasiveness, like people were compelled to obey him without him even doing anything, and the person he fought was DareDevil.

Which brings me to my whole thing with the DareDevil movie. Yeah, I saw it the day it came out, and yeah, I'm gonna buy the DVD the day it comes out, and I'm praying that it'll be a three hour R rated director's cut complete with missing Coolio sub-plot. But much as I may have enjoyed it, I really don't want them to make a sequel, and you could tell they tried to leave it open for one. I mean, now with Spider-Man, there’s so many different cool Spider-Man villains that you could easily make twelve movies without it ever getting boring, but with DareDevil you have Electra, Kingpin, Bullseye, and that's pretty much it. I mean, what are you going to do, have him fight The Purple Man? The Jester?(Joker rip-off) Echo?(almost exactly the same concept as Electra (enemy/lover) but the twist is she's deaf) That guy who turns into a bull and eats people?(basically he's a guy who turns into a bull and eats -well, you get the picture) If you made DareDevil 2, it's basically going to be DareDevil 1 all over again. You know, really, they just ought to give Bullseye his own movie. I'm not quite sure how'd that work but it'd be cool.

Current Mood: nerdy
Wednesday, March 26th, 2003
11:48 pm
Dirty Dances with Wolves
Watched Beauty and the Beast today. Always did think it was cool the way the Beast's hands and feet morph into human hands and feet at the end, but I never did understand why beams of light shoot out of his toes. And it cracks me up how, even when the teapot turns back into a human, her name is still Mrs Pots. Even when a was just a lad watching this movie, though, I was still clever enough to do the math and realize that, the only way old lady teapot could have a child that young is if she was getting her freak on while in teapot form. Even more disturbing is that scene where she tells Chip "now get in the cupboard with your brothers and sisters" and it's filled with dozens and dozens of other teacups. I guess, being that old and having a child as young as Chip tells us that she must be exceptionally fertile, and being that old she's had plenty of time to get around, and what else do you have to do in an old castle all day ran by a huge heartless beast who probably doesn't do much tea drinking, so I guess it really shouldn't come as much of a surprise, but still.... *shudders* And incidentally, I realize I'm now officially nit-picking, but what the crap was he the prince of, anyways? His family must have been rich for him to have that huge castle but none of the nearby townsfolk seem to realize that their King used to live in the creature-infested castle their ransacking. Well, enough over-thinking things for one night. I'm off! ...to bed, that is
12:19 am
How come people always use the phrase "healthy as a horse" as a good thing? What makes horses so healthy? I want to go up to a horse and laugh at it like "Oh yeah? Well at least I can heal from a broken leg!"

So, I successfully got my last two wisdom teeth removed yesterday. The worst thing about recovery has been not being able to eat, like yesterday it was No Solid Foods For You Mister, and today it's Only Really Mushy food. That's not so bad, though. The worst part of the extraction itself was, while the first tooth came out fine, the second one got broken up, and so the dentist practically has one foot on my chest (not really) while he's got almost his entire hand inside my cheek stretching it back (that I'm not making up) trying to wedge out the peices. And of course they had to charge me extra since their was fragment de-wedging involved. See what I mean? They had to charge me extra for the extra pain.

I've noticed something about the dentist, though. During the course of any dentist procedure, someone's crotch invariably leans against your arm. Every time. From the dentist place I always went to until I was seventeen where they hated me (it wasn't personal though, they hate ALL their patients. Why? Because they care) to that really nice Sinclair student guy who cleaned them a couple weeks ago to the place within walking distance to my house who's kind of inbetween, who did this extraction and also refilled a lost filling half a year ago. At least this time it was a dentist and a dental technician (like doctors and nurses, stereotypically dentists are usually guys and dental technicians are usually chicks. If this angers you, please don't take it out on me for making this observation; give speeches to young women and encourage more of them to aim towards being doctors and dentists), so the dentist was always standing by my head and it was the woman who's crotch was against my arm. No, seriously, think about this: cause when you go to the dentist, they lie you back on this dentist chair and raise it up a bunch and then lean over to peer into your face and their crotch invariably ends up leaning against your arm. I thought about bending and twisting my elbow jus a little bit, ya'know, to give her maximum dental technician enjoyment, but I was afraid she's think I was a pervert and flash the dentist the "extra pain for this one!" hi sign.

So yesterday me and my dawg Mike were talking about the bitches and the hos (um, the rock band! Yeah, that's it) and I said that I had been thinking about saying something to this chick I like, except I decided it'd be pointless since she lives in another state and has a boyfriend. So then Mike leaves and I get online and on her LiveJournal it's like "I have to face the fact that my boyfriend's just not the one" and on IM she's contemplating the idea of possibly transferring to another college, like to one that's possibly in the same state where I live, so... I suppose this means I have no excuses whatsoever for not saying anything. Now all I have to do is think of something to say, preferably something witty and charming. Hmmmmm, I wonder how "would you like to be my special lady friend?" would go over?
Monday, March 24th, 2003
12:53 am
It just dawned on me.... nobody's going to really think my last journal entry was funny (not like that ever happens anyways) because you probably all thought I made the word "maser" up. Well, I didn't, so poo on you!! What do they do, you ask? Well, they... mase. No, honest, they do!! Yeah, yeah, so I have absolutely no idea what "masing" is, but is that MY fault, I ask you? That's exactly what I had been trying to say. EVERYone knows what lasers and tasers and phasers are, thanks to the media. Okay, sure, lasers and tasers are both household items now, but would anyone know what the word "phaser" meant if Star Trek hadn't made it such an integral part of sci-fi-dom that it's now in every videogame and space opera in existence? Well, how come Kirk never felt the need to do any masing? It's all TV and video game's fault that I don't know what a maser is! Jerks. I'm lucky to have even known it was a word.

-tune in next week to "What Is Matt's Problem Anyway?" to find out exactly why is it he knew "maser" was a word if he doesn't know what it means-

Current Mood: masey
12:44 am
screw lasers, tasers, and phasers. masers don't get enough play
I'd go to bed now, but that would only make the morning come faster, and tomorrow morning I'm getting one of my wisdom teeth extracted. Not only that but I've no dental insurance. Ever really thought about what the phrase "add insult to injury" means? It means that not only is the dentist going to inflict massive pain and suffering upon you, he's also going to charge you royally up the wazu for the privilage of allowing him to do so. Ah, well. Times like this I wish I was a boozer (or at least a social drinker) so I could just go out and get piss drunk out of nervousness instead of welling it all up inside so that I get psyically ill (or at the least, like in this case, bad diareah). Well, enough self pity. I'm better then all yall bitches!! Or something.

Current Mood: nervous
Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
2:06 am
damn, and know you all know....
eating people

what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

After posting this, I took some more quizzes, and then relized I had to go back and add this one:

What's YOUR sexual fetish?
brought to you by Quizilla

Are we seeing a trend here? Anyways, I wasn't gonna post it but the picture is funny... and it's HEINZE KETCHUP!!! Hoorah.

Current Mood: hungry
Saturday, March 22nd, 2003
6:02 pm
one day I'm going to work this into a song or poem
How come there's a formal get together when you die but not when you're born?
How come there's a ceremony for when you get married but not when you get divorced?
Weddings have cake, but at least at funerals you're allowed to sit wherever you want

Current Mood: curious
Thursday, March 20th, 2003
12:09 am
if your happy and you know it clap your hams
I just read the comic book Ghostworld, just now for the first time from start to finish. Damn. It's really good. It made me really happy and really depressed at the same time. So remember the movie? Okay, remember the funny shirtless guy who's in the Red Hot Chili Pepper video? He's not in the comic. Remember the weird old guy who the entire movie is about and who Enid has sex with? He's in the comic for about one page. Remember that guy who worked at the convince store named Josh who you only saw about three times but it seemed like their should have been more about him? I'd have to say he's the third most important character in the comic. Remember all that stuff about the two main characters getting a house together? That's not in the comic. Remember the art classes Enid took? That's not in their either. Her drawing stuff is only actually mentioned once. You know how the ending of the movie was all random and surreal? Well the comic ends exactly the same way but it's not surreal at all and it makes complete sense. AND THEIR'S A REASON WHY IT'S CALLED "GHOST WORLD"!!!! Maybe not a good reason but the phrase "ghost world" actually does come up in the comic several times.

I had been all excited to see that movie as soon as it came out on video, and it did, and I wanted so hard to like it, and... it had so much fucking potential. Like, as much effort as the actors put into portraying the characters, and their outfits, and everything else.... if they had just had a good plot (like, oh, I don't know, the plot from the comic) then it would have been an extraordinary piece of cinematic filmy film film. So then after I saw the movie I of course wanted to read the comic, and I looked it up at Amazon but they didn't have it because at the time I don't think it had ever even been collected into hardback. Of course sense then the movie's gained a big enough cult following (?) that I actually came across it at the library. Libraries are awesome. Even pretentious Oakwood who has to have their own public library with a humungous movie section that you can reserve from and renew indefinitely, can't compete with the Downtown Library for graphic novels. Heh, i said "graphic novels", I'm such a dork. And actually, there's a difference, graphic novels have a hardback cover, not a magazine cover, so people who get mad when others say "comics" and correct them like "It's GRAPHIC NOVELS" should get their head beat in with a shovel -why am I all anger ridden and wishing violence upon others all the time?- I mean, they should be given a stern lecture and warranted a situation.

- note: spell checker couldn't figure out what word I meant by "humongous" so deal with it. I only bother checking spell about half the time anyways (obviously). I can't believe it let "filmy" slide, that's a word? But "anyways" isn't, go figure.

- a second note: i'm not listening to music which means I felt like I should put something witty and/or clever in the "current music" box, which inspired me to share that today I came to the revelation that "Cake - Fashion Nugget" is pretty much my all-time favorite cd. So yup, now I have one. I couldn't fit all that into the wee lil' box though but I know the thousands and thousands of people who avidly read my LiveJournal every day were simply besides themselves with anticipation to find out so I figured I'd better make mention of it.

- and on that note: toodles

Current Mood: *claps his hams*
Tuesday, March 18th, 2003
12:33 am
It Must Be The Puppy Chow
I just got an e-mail that said "It's Gotta Be The Shoes". Now, it was from "Lea" which seemed pretty suspicious so I pretty much knew it was gonna be porn, but that subject is so awesome I had to go ahead and open it anyways, and.... alright, to be honest, I actually feel kinda funny posing an ad for a porno site on my LiveJournal, but I'm not linking it and I in no way encourage you to use the URL yourself, but..... this ad just demanded sharing:

gratuitous porno ad. view at your own risk!Collapse )

Yeah, and I thought "Girls Wearing Glasses! All Girls, All Nude, All Wearing Glasses!!!" was silly. But this... this is just sad.

(for more porno stories, including the "girls wearing glasses" thing, click here)

Current Mood: excited
Monday, March 17th, 2003
2:48 pm
cold deer and cheeseburgers
Blargh, matey, I'm so miffed off right now. For behold, I just clicked on a link that said "9 silly songs that get stuck in your head" and it took me to a page on MSN Health (?!) with the following top ten (which last time I checked, isn't nine) list:

1. Other. Everyone has his or her own worst earworm.
2. Chili's "Baby Back Ribs" jingle.
3. "Who Let the Dogs Out"
4. "We Will Rock You"
5. Kit-Kat candy-bar jingle ("Gimme a Break ...")
6. "Mission Impossible" theme
7. "YMCA"
8. "Whoomp, There It Is"
9. "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
10. "It's a Small World After All"

Okay, so first of all, is number one not the gayest thing you've ever seen on a top ten list, especially listed as number one? And if they were gonna do that, shouldn't they have started at ten and counted backwards? Okay, so I can understand why having "It's a Small World After All" stuck in your head would really suck, although I'm not quite sure how that would happen cause I don't think I've actually heard that song since I was two. Maybe they used to play it on commercials non stop back in the day and this list was made by old people? But then how are those people hip enough to know the song "Whoomp Their It Is"? And how would that song get stuck in your head, anyways? Do you just walk around saying "Whoomp their it is" over and over?

But of course, what I'm most upset about is.... I LIKE SOME OF THESE SONGS!! It's not much of an exaggeration to say that Queen is easily one of the greatest rock bands in the entire world* and I for one would love to have "We Will Rock You" stuck in my head. And do they mean Andrew W.K.'s version of "Give Me A Break"? cause any song by my good buddy Andrew can get stuck in my head </i>any</i> time.

...so at any rate, this is all really just my round about way of saying that I finally got all of Sinclair's mistakes straightened out so now I am the proud enroller (enrollee?) of two whole courses, both of which I flunked miserably at some point in my sorid past.

*for clarification, it usually pisses me off when people make pretentious, generalized, unfounded statements like "easily one of the greatest rock bands in the entire world", so for those of you who don't know me, I said that statement in jest, sarcastically, using self referential humor, even though I do love Queen more then most bands. Anyways, if you ever get confused like that while reading my journal, just keep in mind my ever apical rule that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and yours is wrong.

Current Mood: chillin'
Friday, March 14th, 2003
10:27 pm
space ghost
You're Space Ghost!

Which Space Ghost's Cartoon Planet Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

*cracks up dying, laughing* Even this Space Ghost Quiz can sense my hidden repressed anger!!

Oh, it was glorious. You should have been their, chums. We went to the mall last Saturday and I made a joke to our retarted janitor and he looked at me like I was retarted!! The only thing that could have possibly made the whole day more complete was if someone had asked me and Mike if we were high (which ussually does happen). Although, their was some OTHER guy with crazy hair being goofy, but then I acted too goofy for him and he gave me the finger! The laughs on that magic day just kept coming and not once did they cease, my friend, not even for a single moment.

So remember that dentist dealie I called at Sinclair? Well they called me back a couple hours after that LiveJournal entry and wanted to schedual me in for the next day (last Friday) and sinse it was short notice they'd make it free. When your dental work is free and your dentist is the nicest dentist you've ever ment, but it takes three hours and your gums bleed the entire time.... you're a winner AND a loser!! Then I got home and Sinclair had denied my parition to get back in, but because they think I've been dismissed many more times then I had. And since their office hours are for my convince, I had to wait till Monday to go down their and tell them their mistake, so they could mail me out a new letter which didn't get here till today, which tells me that I'm readmitted (hooray!) but I'm only allowed to take two classes a quarter until I get back on my feet grade-wise. So I guess that means I'll have to get a part time job, as well. Bah. And no, going back and kissing Cassano's royal italian ass (it's okay for me to make fun of Italian people cause my last name is Italian in linage, so shut up) wouldn't help because they only hire full time people.

Okay, this is no longer fun. I think I shall go repress some anger somewhere else.

Current Mood: bitchy
3:44 pm
yesterday while changing my pants I had an epiphany.... twice
So this is one of those things, it's probably bad enough just that I do it and I really shouldn't be sharing it with you all, but... I'm just gonna come right out and say it. Some people like to start their mornings by meditating on a verse or paragraph from The Bible, or The Daily Word, or The 365 Toa, or The I-Ching.... well, I like to start my day off by meditating on a passage from Dear Abby. No, really, I'm not quite sure how this started... well, yes I am. I always read the funnies because I'm a comics-before-news kinda guy, but the funnies are always over way too fast, especially now that our paper does them in that all-on-one-page format, so then I turn over to read Dear Abby. Then, for some reason, once I've read the column, I usually spend several minutes thinking about at least one of the letters in it. Take a passage from today, for example:

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my girlfriend, "Adrian," for two years. She has always been obsessed with my past. Recently, Adrian went through all my old letters from ex-girlfriends, dating back to early grammar school. Now she is demanding that I burn them. I have refused because she read them without permission, disregarding my privacy.
Is it wrong to keep old letters? I've always assumed it's OK until I get married -- or at least engaged. To me, the letters and notes are a "diary" of sorts. What's your opinion? -- SENTIMENTAL GUY IN IDAHO

DEAR SENTIMENTAL GUY: Your girlfriend is jealous, insecure, nosy and nervy. She has no right to "demand" anything from you. If I were you, I'd keep the letters and give Adrian a change-of-address form. In the long run, you'll be happier.

Now, my first thought here is, if the letters had only been from his most recent ex-girlfriend, things would have been different. I mean, imagine if the girl had wrote Dear Abby and been like "he still has all the letters from his last girlfriend!", Dear Abby would have been telling her to kick him to the curb. But it's not, it's letters from all his old girlfriends dating back to elementry school. Now, personally, I see nothing wrong with this. Heck, I still have the monthly diaries they made us update every week in second grade, and they make for some fun reading when you go back over them.

So of course, Dear Abby is going to tell him to kick her to the curb. I mean, it doesn't cost her anything, right? But then, you notice that this guy didn't go off about how wonderful she is or how in love they are or anything, only the time invested. See, I think this is why I like Dear Abby so much, because what these people should do is usually pretty obvious when you read it from a detached point of view in the paper, but it's not obvious to the person who's caught up in the problem. Whenever I start doubting my actions, I like to image what I'd say if I read about them in a Dear Abby article. ...yeah, so I'm probably just certifiable, but now you all have a better idea of the sort of things that run thru my head.

Current Mood: educated
Thursday, March 6th, 2003
11:45 am
burritos, dentists, and Matt's testicles. Oh my!
I just invented a new beverage by pouring a little bit of Welsh's Red Raspberry Juice into my glass of Caffeine Free Mountain Dew. And I gotta say, this is pretty swell stuff. For those of you who think that sounds messed up, may I remind you that Mountain Dew is basically lemon lime soda with some concentrated orange juice in it. That's like how the best way to make punch is to start off with a couple two-liters of lemon-lime pop and then throw a few cans of concentrated juice into it (I like two cans fruit punch and one limeade). Of course if your me you'll throw some rainbow sherbet in their, too. You know, just lemon-lime pop with rainbow sherbet in it is the bomb. Even just the flavor is awesome. Like you know how they make Cherry 7up? Well they totally ought to make Rainbow 7up, with that orange-raspberry-lime flavor in it that rainbow sherbet has. But do you know what really kicks ass? When you make mashed potatoes, but instead of milk, you use sour cream. I kid you not. Especially when you eat them with something that sour cream goes great with anyways, like swiss steak.

I've discovered the best way to make burritos (soft tacos) is to brown some hamburger and then get you some Chili Sauce (make sure it's Chili Sauce, like Heinz or Meijer makes, and not "Ketchup with a Kick!" like Kroger's makes. If I wanted it to taste all sweet like ketchup then I'd add ketchup, you bastards! Chili sauce should just be tomato paste with onions and chilies in it) to thicken the meat up, and if you're like me you'll also add a few dashes of taco sauce for a nice mexicany flavor. If you don't buy taco sauce then just add a couple packets of Taco Bell Border Sauce (no joke, I've done that, it's good). That's some good stuff. I never understood buying packets of taco seasoning, because you still need to thicken it up with tomato sauce, and anyways taco seasoning is basically just chili powder in a fancy package, so if your going that route you might as well buy a giant container of generic chili powder like my mom does and save you a buck or two. Of course I'm obviously a "season to taste" kind of guy when it comes to my mexican food so I can see why this route doesn't work for everybody. I'll tell you what though, soft tacos is something I need to eat about once a week in order stay happy and mentally balanced (so is chicken in some form. I make pretty dang good fried chicken, too, but that's a lot of effort). I made some kick ass tacos the other day though cause I made the meat like I just said, then threw in some refried beans for good measure (we keep a food storage in our basement so we always have about ninety cans of refried beans. And about ninety cans of tuna fish. And about fifty jars of different varieties of spaghetti sauce. If only we could figure out some dish to make that involves all three, we would never go hungry during times of famine), and THEN.... I made some cheese sauce!! One time I was messing around online and I saw a recipe for macaroni and cheese from scratch, and I was just like "whoa.... THAT'S how you make cheese sauce!" It's some cheese, some milk, some butter, and a little flour. I have no idea what the actual recipe is cause I only made it once and I just totally guessed at the amounts (basically, I did milk and butter like I was making mac & cheese from a box mix, then grated some cheese and threw in a handful of flour) but it turned out pretty dang good, and i stirred that into my meat and beans mixture and was one happy burrito-eating man.

Okay, so I didn't get on here to just talk about burritos. Actually I was gonna talk about something else but mentioned my swell beverage (my glass is empty now, alas) and got side tracked. Ironically, what I was gonna talk about is my teeth. So I've not had my teeth cleaned in five years. So I'm looking thru the catalog for Sinclair (still the cheapest tuition in the state of Ohio! Celebration!) and I see they have a dental clinic where a student can clean your teeth for ten bucks. So I'm thinking okay, this is cool cause I don't have to get x-rays or any other crap, their a student so their gonna be all scared and careful and gentle, unlike dentists who do it all the time and just breeze thru it and hurt you. And best of all it's only ten bucks. So I called up, this was like ten minutes ago (well, ten minutes before I started writing this long ass journal entry), and ask if it's a walk-in thing or a appointment thing, and the lady tells me that what you do is leave your name, phone number, and last time your teeth were cleaned approximately, and they'll leave that information for the students, and one of them calls you and schedules an appointment. So far so good. Then she goes on to tell me (get this) that the appointments are scheduled for Mondays, at either 8:00 or 11:00, and it can take up to several hours for an appointment, like it might be from 8 to 11, and depending on how long it's been since you're teeth were cleaned it might take more then one appointment. Okay, look, obviously I'm not a big fan of the dentist. Now, everybody hates going to the dentist, but when I go I usually end up breaking out into a cold sweat with a death grip on the arms of the chair. The last time I went was actually about half a year ago, but not for a cleaning, it was because I'd had a filling fall out and everyone told me if you don't get it replaced right away then food you eat wears down the hole and cracks the tooth and you end up needing a root canal (shudders), so I went in, and sat their while they crammed junk into my skull for twenty minutes. They actually stopped not to far into it and asked if I was all right cause I was sweating so much and gripping the chair. Well no shit! I'm at the dentist! You want I should be whistling a cheery tune? About half a year before that, my doctor had thought their was a possibility that I had testicular cancer (believe it or not that's most common in men in my age group, like 18-24 or something like that. What all the old people die of is prostate cancer, which is different) so I had to get an ultrasound (ladies, I feel your pain) which means you have to drink a bunch of water before hand and not pee for several hours before (which would be hard for me even if i DIDN'T have to drink a bunch of water) and then this really large (not fat, just large. Like she should be in the army so she can stop tanks large) woman who I'm guessing just recently suffered a break up with her boyfriend poked around down their with incredibly cold hands, and finally she was all impatiently like "Where is it suppose to be?" Like I just make up having a lump in my testicles for jollies. And the point is, I think I still pefered that over my last dentist appointment. So now this woman is on the phone implying that I might have to spend several sessions of three hours apiece of some inexperienced klutz trying to clean my skanky teeth? I should just drop sixty bucks on some Crest Whitening Strips or something. I still gave her my information, though, cause to be honest, I'm kind of doubting any student is going to bother getting ahold of me. So with all that said and done, do you know what's sad? There’s three things I've been meaning to do this week, which are see about the ten dollar dentist thing, see about getting a haircut at this place near Second Time Around, and see about that free counseling thingamabob at Sinclair, and so far the only one I've done is call the dentist. *shakes head* So after everything I said I'd rather do then see the dentist, what does that say about my feelings towards getting haircuts?

Current Mood: thirsty
9:05 am
"Candy on my face, there's nothing better
But I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater
Someday soon I'll make you mine
And I'll have candy all the time"

- So what the heck is "candy", anyhow?

Current Mood: curious
Sunday, March 2nd, 2003
9:21 pm
Thugs, Bones, and Hominy
Hotmail just informed me I had twenty-seven new e-mails. "Twenty-seven new e-mails!", I said excitedly, my lips moist in anticipation, my palms sweaty and trembling, "watch only two of them be anything I actually care about!" So it turns out that all of them were junk mail, but so determined was I to get at least two e-mails that I care about today, I decided to pick out a couple subject lines to share with you. One of them was "Booty Bangin", which is so catchy that I'm amazed it isn't a rap song by Jay-Z yet (watch Mike e-mail me and tell me that actually it is), and one titled "Ranchy Blowjobs". I guess that's not so funny but what I wanted to know is, as opposed to what? Boring wholesome blowjobs? Hahahaha, "Boring Wholesome Blowjobs" would be a wicked awesome name for a punk band. Or at least an album by a punk band. And their newest single could be called "Booty Bangin". And if someone reads this and decides to rip off my ideas, at least show a brother some love and send me free tickets. Peace man. Big up to Biggie in Heaven.

Current Mood: disrespect
Saturday, March 1st, 2003
5:52 pm
Thursday, February 27th, 2003
10:39 pm
Remember when it was called "The Learning Channel" and not "TLC: Life Unscripted"? And it was shows about nature and the pyrimids, not shows where people redecorate their friend's house without them knowing about it (with the help of a professional fashion designer, of course) or reality-like shows where married couples agree to let the birth of their child be filmed? Well, I was about to go off about this at great length but I just noticed a link on MSN entitled Can Dogs Be Racist? that I think I'm about to go check out so I guess you guys will just have to fend for yourselves, funny-rant wise.
4:27 am
Ya'know, sometimes I wish my parents didn't understand me, or that it wasn't fair, so I'd have a legitimate reason to be depressed.
[ << Previous 20 ]
About LiveJournal.com